A Road to Self-Confidence

A Road to Self Confidence

Self-confidence is a feeling of trust in one’s abilities, qualities, and judgment. It is directly related to what you think about yourself. So if you think you are good at what you are doing and you can put yourself out there without worrying about other’s judgments – You are Self-confident. On the other side, if you are always consumed by worries of people’s opinions, you compare yourself to others and think you are not good enough; it is due to a lack of self-confidence. Self-confidence is a habit, and it can be developed at any point in your Life. Just like any other habit, self-esteem will need persistence and determination from your end. As you see, all these famous public speakers, runway models, stage performers, what do they all have in common? – A tremendous amount of self-confidence, a belief in their abilities and skills. So now the question is, how can you develop confidence, let me share a few steps with you which has helped me and which I have seen working for others –

Stop Negative Self Talking

You do not need to be your biggest critique. You do not need to talk negatively about yourself in your head. Why are you doing this?  Be a rational, positive thinker. Think about your-SELF as your friend, will you talk to your friend the way you speak to yourself in your head? Will you always criticize your friend and zoom on their mistakes? No, you will not! Because you do not want your friend to feel bad, actually you want them to feel good about themselves, you want to encourage them, and you want to be their support system. Why don’t you treat yourself the same way? For example, if your friend had a break-up, you will tell her/him many reasons how it is for better, how the other person was not good enough, how she or he should move on, how the other person wasn’t worthy of him/her!  But when you have a break-up, your focus is to find 101 things you possibly did wrong in the relationship. My point is, do not be harsh on yourself, accept yourself, allow yourself to take risks and make mistakes; in fact, encourage yourself to experiment!

Do not compare yourself with others.

Al There is no one else in this world like you. You have your strengths, your dreams, your personal goals, and your OWN Life. You do not need to waste energy on dreaming about someone else’s Life; it is a wastage of your own Life.  The focus of your energy should be on building your Life. Do not compare yourself to others. If you watch an athlete running in the Olympics 100m race, how many times he stops to see where other people are at – NONE; because if he ceases to stare, he will not be able to finish his race.

On a side note, do not believe all the things you see on social media. Remember an old saying, “all that glitters is not gold.”

Befriend your mirror

What you see in the mirror matters a lot! What you want to see in the mirror matters the most. Do you want to see all the beauty, or you want to find some flaws? Look at yourself the way you want others to look at you. I have written a post on the mirror before click here

Write down your achievements and Strengths

I went to a business school, and in business 101, they taught us to do a SWOT analysis for business. SWOT stands for S – Strength, W – Weakness, O – Opportunity, and T – Threats. An idea behind doing SWOT analysis is to bank on your strengths and opportunities to be aware of your weakness and threats. Sometimes, we have to do it with our Life as well. Write down all your strengths, your achievements, things you are grateful for. We tend to forget our accomplishments and start underestimating ourselves. So once in a while, we need a reminder to focus our energy on strengths and opportunities. I am not saying to ignore the weakness, try to overcome it, and take threats as challenges.

Surround yourself with good people

Now that you are mentally prepared to achieve your goals, do not listen to people who tell you can’t. People who show you down, bully you, discourage you, or simply reject you – all those people do not deserve your attention. You need to keep them out of your mind. It is simple, and you need to feel beautiful and kind about your being, and if someone is making you feel worthless, you either need to face them or forget about them. You cannot let someone poison your ears against yourself. Of course, constructive feedback is a help, but you have to be the judge of it. You have to decide whether someone is helping you or they are pulling you back.  Remember a quote from Pursuit of Happyness, “You got a dream. You have to protect it. People can’t do something themselves; they want to tell you can’t do it. If you want something, get it. Period.”

Make a Roadmap 

Write down your goals. This is so important that any self-help article you will read, they will suggest you write your feelings, goals, plans, etc. Why is writing important? Because it helps us explore areas of our mind that we are not aware of. It is a more effective way of communicating with our consciousness while reinforcing our goals. When you write your plans, it works as a roadmap to your desired destination. And if you put your roadmap where you can see it every day, it will act as a reminder.

Practice

To develop this habit for lifelong, you need to practice and practice more. Practice and develop those skills and talents that you need to pursue your goals. Find a balance. Embrace yourself. Do not be afraid to fail. Be Kind to yourself.

Love and Sunshine.