Are you tired of being an emotionally unavailable person? Is your cynicism making you an over-protective person? And if your answer to these questions is yes, then you can continue to read this post. In my last post, I wrote about ‘what goes in the mind of emotionally unavailable person’? An emotionally unavailable person has emotions suppressed under his fears. These fears are stopping you to live your life to the fullest. If you want to change it, take a step towards opening up yourself with these five simple self-awareness practices –
Your Will Power
The first step is always a desire and then it comes to supporting your desire. You should be determined to be emotionally available for others. You can not keep going back and forth with this decision. A famous Persian poet Rumi wrote, “Gamble everything for love if you are a true human being. If not, leave this gathering, halfheartedness doesn’t reach into majesty.”
You have to truly want it and remind yourself that you want it every day. Convince your mind just the way you go into the water for swimming. Because you cannot learn swimming while carrying a fear of drowning; therefore you will have to let off the grip of fears.
No Fear Zone
You may feel vulnerable, lonely, angry, confused and betrayed sometimes. In the end, these are all feelings, and they change all the time. You cannot let your mind controlled by feelings. Fear is just like another feeling. You feel scared, and it is a normal process if you bounce back. Do not get trap in the web of fears; it will not take you anywhere. You need to release your feeling to change them. Address your fears. There is a famous book of Dale Carnegie, How to Stop worrying and start living. In this book, it says if you can imagine the worst possible outcome of a situation and then prepare your mind for it, it will help you stop stressing about it. Very similar to the saying, hope for the best and prepare for the worst.
Mistakes are Acceptable
It is ok to make mistakes, and it is fine to learn from your mistakes. Do not run after perfection; it is a myth. You will be very disappointed. There is nothing like ‘perfect relationship’ or ‘perfect scenario.’ Therefore, save yourself from disappointments and learn how to give your best without chasing the illusion of perfection. Life is very simple if we stop being perfect all the times.
Bring those Walls down
Do you even know how much you are missing out on life hiding behind those tall walls? Life is meant to be experienced! And those experiences could be both happy and sad. Do not run away from people. You know that you have become emotionally unavailable as a defense mechanism. There is always a constant battle inside you. You need to relax those nerves which are always on high alert. You deserve to connect with others. You deserve to love and be loved.
My mom says that if this world is running, it means the ratio of good people is more than evil, and goodness still exists among people. So you need to have faith in the concept of goodness. You can take whichever route to develop this faith; karma, spirituality, religion or simply your idea of God. Start seeking goodness and you will start finding it. Have faith in yourself and never lose hope.
Open your arms and take a deep breath. A leap of faith will carry you to your destination. If a cocoon stays in a shell, it will never become a butterfly. If a seed stays on the ground, it will never become a plant. If a baby stays in the womb, he will have never seen this earth. Life is a progression where you have to open ourselves to new challenges.
Love and Sunshine from Feeling Buddhaful