How about a No?

no, feelingbuddhaful

Alright, today’s post is going to get heat from “Yes Man” movie fans. Still, I would suggest you read the post before making a remark. Have you been stuck in a situation where you want to say 100% ‘No’ but you are pushed to say “Yes” to please others? Alright, once in a while it can be okay let’s say if it is someone’s birthday and they want you to have a piece of cake. However, developing a habit of signing yourself up for an unpleasant No(s) series is a distressing situation. You need to break this habit before you start to keep suppressing your energy and ignoring yourself. You can not be just a people pleaser all your life. Listen to your heart and follow your intuition.

I hear you; Saying no can be tough.

Forget about your friends; sometimes you cannot even say no to a super-pushy salesperson. Let me make this process a little easy for you. First of all, have a clear intention. Second, think about the reason you are saying no for. I bet it is not because you want to make other person feel bad, but it is your own different perspective. Then understand that word, ‘no’ is not a negative word. For example; if you are sick, you can rest and skip that party you are currently feeling obligated to attend. You can be honest and tell other people about your situation. Do not suppress yourself to please others. If you mean ‘no,’ then you should say ‘no.’ If you are unsure, take some time before making the decision. Do not rush to say yes under peer pressure especially in regards to life changing decisions such as marriage.

Recently, I heard a sad story from an old friend who said ‘Yes’ to an arranged marriage just because she was turning 30. A little background, 30 in Indian culture is a very high number of wedding standards. As per some individuals, crossing the age mark of 30 can lead to disastrous possibilities such as ‘Not ever being married’  or ‘Forever alone because all your friends are married’ or Never be able to reproduce babies’ or another one ‘Supply of well suitable men on the market is scarce.’ Back to the story of my friend who said yes because she had no courage to say no, is she happy now? Unfortunately, the answer is no. Now she stuck with an unhappy marriage and regretting her decision of giving up on her further studies. A sad situation.

Another problem is of my friend who feels obligated to smoke a cigarette during his lunch break because of peer pressure. Many people blame their habit of alcohol and drugs on peer pressure. Imagine if these people can simply learn to say ‘No.’

Avoid these situations, take control of your life, have a clear conscious and understand your thoughts or just simply follow your heart.

So how about a ‘No’ today?!

Have fun day folks! Love and Sunshine. Keep Feeling Buddhaful.

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Jasz Gill is a contemporary writer and poet who writes about emotional intelligence, mindfulness, and compassion. She started writing a blog with Rose Colored Glasses in 2010, a self-help blog to encourage individuals in their journey towards mindfulness. Her writing style is based on turning big ideas into practical wisdom.

9 Comment

  1. Sabrina says: Reply

    We all feel stuck in a similar situation

  2. Annie B. says: Reply

    Peer pressure needs to be tackled wisely

  3. Celise says: Reply

    You have addressed a common issue

  4. Celise says: Reply

    You should write more about it

  5. Karin says: Reply

    Did you write this one for me? Jk…It is true that we are more socially acceptable if we keep saying yes and that is why we do. We think one no can kick us out the peer group but is it really worth it now that is another question/

  6. Theresa says: Reply

    The timing of your story in my inbox is exactly what I need to finally begin to embrace change and become more flexible so I can be true to myself. I woke up this morning feeling relief after ending an emotionally abusive relationship. Despite the pride I feel standing up for myself, deep down, I’m afraid in a moment of weekness that I’ll run back to him only to fuel the vicious cycle of anxiety and panic he seems to thrive on.

    I have come to realize the only time he showed me any affection or “love” was after I broke down feeling inadequate, time after time, not accepting his need for constant attention from other women. Even during our last conversation at my request, when we agreed to say our goodbyes one final time, he still insisted I was the one who’d done wrong by “invading his privacy” getting into his online dating sites to confirm my suspicions. During that meeting, he did not appear in the least bit concerned that I was heartbroken in tears nor did he take the opportunity to comfort me one last time. Only when I drove away distraught, when he finally realized he was loosing his biggest source of narcissistic supply at that moment, did he reveal any sense of loss or emotion by calling and texting me on my drive home.

    Being a co-dependent all my life, attracting vultures that feed their egos on my self inadequacies and insecurities, that fill their own vessels of emptiness by getting off on the pain and suffering they inflict, your article has made me realize that in order to get something different that I have to do something different. I know that until I’m able to change my mindset of thinking I need to be in a relationship to feel whole or worthy (even though I experience the exact opposite each time), I’m never going to have the confidence and positive regard for myself that I need to be happy in my own skin. As I begin this tough journey, ridding myself of codependence, I will reread your message as often as need to reaffirm my need to love myself so that I can one day give that love to someone who truly deserves it and is able to love me for who I am, not for what they can take from me.

  7. Ashmit Chauhan says: Reply

    Agree 100% with Jasz and Theresa

  8. Mohammad Vire says: Reply


  9. Abraham73 says: Reply

    Hi I just want to say your efforts for this blog is admirable with variety of topics to read on.

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