“Everybody is a Genius. But If You Judge a Fish by Its Ability to Climb a Tree, It Will Live Its Whole Life Believing that It is Stupid” – Albert Einstein
Comparing ourselves with others — few of us do this sometimes, and some of us do it often. This evil comparison is the mother of jealousy, of unhappiness and low self-esteem. The funny thing is that it is an unfair comparison, comparing someone’s strengths to your weaknesses, someone’s successes to your failures; it is like comparing apples to oranges and then feeling bad that the one is without the other’s qualities
If you listen to or read about successful people, you’ll learn that they all have one common trait even if they belong to different fields and come from different backgrounds. It is self-belief – truly believing in their strength and ability. However, if you are falling into the unfair comparison trap, you are missing the freedom of self- awareness.
“Enjoy your own life without comparing it with that of another.” – Marquis de Condorcet
Breaking the cycle of comparing yourself with others –
Comparing yourself to others is a bad mental habit, and we need to break free ourselves from it. Let me tell you five simple self-tested formulas that will help you to break free.
Make a List of Your Blessings:
Let’s work on the foundation first: count your blessings, your success, and your survival factors so far. Make a list and pin it somewhere you can see it often. Stop looking for your weaknesses; instead, focus on your strengths. Be proud of them, celebrate them, feel good about them and then bank on them.
Face your imperfections:
We are all uniquely imperfect people with our own set of virtues and vices. There is nothing wrong with that; perfection is a myth and let’s stop running after it. What you think is ‘perfect’ today will become ‘imperfect’ tomorrow. Keep trying to improve but without the weight of ‘perfection’ on your shoulders. Accept yourself completely. I am not perfect, and I am okay with it.
Since it is an old mental habit, most of you make comparisons without realizing that you are doing it. It has become one of your routine tasks requiring a less conscious approach. The trick is very simple: be aware of your thoughts when you think about others and yourself. When you look at someone, what are you looking for? Is their personality triggering comparisons in your mind? Is this comparison building jealousy inside you? Are you telling yourself, “I wish I had their lives”?
Once you are aware of your thought patterns, take a pause. Inhale a deep breath and then let go of those comparisons when you exhale. Consciously tell your mind – stop it my friend! Then navigate your thoughts towards your blessings, your achievements and, most importantly, your happiness.
Focus on your life
Just think about all the time and energy you have wasted while comparing yourself with others and making a mental spreadsheet while ranking your friends, relatives, co-workers and people around you. Don’t you think that if you had devoted your focus on yourself, it would have helped you in your journey? Everyone’s journey is different and unique in its own way, so stop analyzing other people – keep going and keep moving. Your life has nothing to do with what others are doing with their lives and what they possess.
It is all about your goals, your dreams, and your happiness. Life is not a competition, so stop stressing about it. Remember being a child. Your parents used to compare you with your cousins. Remember how frustrating that was. Now you are doing the same to yourself, so stop it. These are interjected voices!
Do not be green-eyed
These days we criticize almost everything. Believe it or not, sometimes you criticize others just for making yourself feel better. All the destructive criticism coming from jealousy is more harmful to you than others. You are holding on to coals; drop them before they burn you. Try to build positive energy around you and support others in their success. Positives will bring positive in your life. If you always want what others have, you will never have enough. You will always want more.
Here you go – these are easy tactics allowing you to master how to unshackle your mind from the comparison habit. Remember when you’re trying to get rid of an old habit, doing so will require patience. So give yourself some time and attention to make these efforts, and with time your mind will drop comparison with others like dead skin. Learn to realize that you are blessed and that what you have is enough. You are enough!
Love and Sunshine from Feeling Buddhaful!