Define Yourself Without Getting Defined by Others

Good evening loved ones,

Today, let’s go back to basic. The core of our entity. This topic has been discussed between us numerous times, but we tend to forget it. We get hurt and then remind ourselves again but then forget about it again. Let me remind you, my love; Only you get to define yourself. If you calculate the time you have spent with yourself vs. with others, you will realise that you have spent most of the time with Yourself. So who will know you better than yourself? People meet you, spend some part of their lives with you but does their opinion hold higher rank compare to your opinion about yourself? Are they better judge of your character? Why do we give such power to others to manipulate our actions and speech so that we will look better in front of them?

In India, there is a saying that “Log Kya Kahenge (What people will say) has killed more dreams than anything else on this earth” It is so true! Since childhood, we are trained to create a good impression on others.

Our mind is trained to work on building our reputation in front of others always. It is your life, your goals, your dreams; so you should learn to protect them. There is a Japanese proverb, “you have three faces. The first face, you show to the world. The second face, you show to your close friends and your family. The third face, you never show anyone. It is the truest reflection of who you are.”  Your energy should be focused on developing the third face. Because in the end, it is all that matters. Your idea of yourself creates Your Self. Buddha said, “You will become what you think.”

Once again I will say, save your energy and time by not worrying about what people are saying and thinking about you. Rather spend it on building yourself which we call personal development. See yourself through your own eyes and to make things better, I will say through rose-colored glasses.

Only you get to define yourself

To sum up, beautifully, I would like to share a short story “Knowing Fish” that I read a while back.

One day Chuang Tzu and a friend were walking by a river. “Look at the fish swimming about,” said Chuang Tzu, “They are enjoying themselves.”

“You are not a fish,” replied the friend, “So you can’t truly know that they are enjoying themselves.”

“You are not me,” said Chuang Tzu. “So how do you know that I am not sure that the fish are enjoying themselves?”

Moral of the story is that only you know yourself. Everyone else is just playing guessing games by your speech and actions. Do not let someone’s opinion bully your mind. Do not be harsh on yourself. Imagine your life is a car, who do you want to drive it? Who can take this car where you want it to be? Deep down under you know that answer is Myself. And yes, you have every single right to drive this car. Do not give steering wheel of your mind to someone else.

Happy Reading. Love & Sunshine. Keep Feeling Buddhaful ?

 

 

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Jasz Gill is a contemporary writer, blogger, and poet who writes about emotional intelligence, Zen, mindfulness, self-love, and compassion. She started writing a blog with Rose Colored Glasses in 2010, a self-help blog to encourage individuals in their journey towards mindfulness. Jasz Gill is a simplicity blogger who loves turning big ideas into a practical wisdom.