Hello all the beautiful readers out there, let us have some coffee and conversation today. I used to think it is just me who is scared of being misunderstood. I thought, keeping my thoughts and opinion to myself is the best way to avoid any conflict and hence to avoid an unnecessary suffering. To my surprise, I was not the only person who thinks this way and to my shock, staying quiet brought more suffering. It was like a volcano which was ready to erupt and ended up causing more damage and sometimes permanent ones. Keeping everything inside you is not a good idea in the long run. Let’s see what we can do to find a balance between when to speak and when to listen.
Communication is an art, and a meaningful conversation is its masterpiece. Just like any other art, it will require practice and patience to master it. And when you conduct it with all your attention and focus, you can create something breathtaking.
Can you think of any human relationship which does not need any communication? Well, I cannot think of any. Words are magical, they can make you happy, they can make you sad, they can motivate you, they can console you, they can make you feel beautiful, they can make you win a war; and even when a person is gone his words will remain immortal. Words can surely impact your relations with others; they are like a bridge between you and the other person. When they say ‘think before you speak,’ the basic idea is to be thoughtful when you talk to someone, consider their feelings and respect their opinion. The way of putting your viewpoint without hurting anyone else is a job of patience and empathy. I am going to mention few things to consider when you are communicating with others.
Respect their opinion
Acknowledge and respect other’s opinion regardless of your judgement of right and wrong. If you want to alter their opinion, first ask them why they think what they think. Sometimes, you will find out it is just a lack of knowledge or little knowledge which is way more dangerous. Rather than arguing and making them feel bad about it, educate them or politely ask them to check their facts again.
Don’t assume things
The assumption is a cruel murderer of many relationships. Over time, we become judgmental and brain idle therefore rather than clarifying certain things; we simply assume them and build some baseless Hypothesis in our heads. Especially, in this digital age where we send each other texts and emails, we interpret their meaning according to our best guess. Take an example of someone not calling you, rather than asking for a reason or even after knowing the reason our convenient assumption is they do not care for us. Dear friend, you need to ask for clarification and be able to give it when needed. Because assuming things put a veil in front of your mind and impair your judgement.
Tone of your Voice
If you are screaming and shouting, another person might not even listen to you because he/she is getting hurt. I know it is hard to stay calm and will need a lot of practice, but keep the tone of your voice low while talking to someone. Your focus should be making them understand your viewpoint, so give some good reasons and logics rather than dictating it. In many culture and languages, voice tone can change the meaning of a word. It can go from expressing surprise, love, and anger. The most common example is “Acha” in Hindi and Punjabi, actual translation of this word is “good” but depending on the way you say it (voice tone), it can mean you are surprised, you liked it, or you are angry.
Pay attention to your voice tone depending on the message you want to deliver. If you are giving a motivational speech, you can opt for high voice tone to put emphasis on keywords. In any case, screaming and shouting is a big no.
Conversation is not only about telling your opinion but also listening to others. When I say listening, I mean actually paying attention to what they are saying rather than thinking of comeback or making a judgement in your head. Simply listen, understand and if you do not then ask them to explain it. Trust me; listening solves more problems than talking. It is the foundation of any relationship. You need to make other person feel that they are being listened and understood. After they are done, you can tell them your view-point.
I hope you enjoyed reading this article. If you have any question, feel free to communicate with me. Love and Sunshine. Keep Feeling Buddhaful.